this is the exact place where I want to be.

And it has been for the past two weeks.

I owe the stable, secure place where I am at to two people. 

The newest and oldest (at the same time) person in my life is Patrick. There are things that we have in common that I didn't realize it before because I was stubborn to let my guard down. The day I finally talked to him, I felt that I was being honest with myself as with him. He gave me the push to be honest with Trevor most of all. I do miss him, as it was the first time we got to talk as friends. He and I haven't talked in so long that I want to make up for it. It was funny when he said "do you remember freshman p.e?" I completely forgot we had that class together. He has presented me with a trust and security that has only been done by one other person.

You have given me that strength and motivation to really get by, Trevor. The simplest of details that have happened are between you and me, even if I try to explain to my friends what happens. The laughs, the smirks, the thoughts, the questions, the honesty, the nerves I STILL feel around you can't be described. (a little less than freshman year of course.) They are kept between you and me. Trying to write them down just brings back the moments, but can't be quite expressed at all. The chance you have taken and lines you have finally broken make me realize that you are the most important person to me. You have led me to the place where I couldn't be more happy to be.

It  is all coming together. This Thursday, I mail everything to American University. This is it. As to the question Juano asked me yesterday when we were at the Wynn, I don't know. I truly don't.  

*editing later.